We live in a world which says to be strong, you must not yield. To be powerful, you must remain defiant – standing as if nothing can topple you. Somehow strength has become hard muscles and unbending points of view.
But what if we found strength in our messes? If we embraced vulnerability as capability? (Can you imagine a national dialogue with sides confessing to being unsure, or afraid?)
What if we didn’t hide our “weaknesses”, but learned from them? What if we hung around long enough to care about them, and discover what they had to teach?
What if every feeling – including the uncomfortable and ugly ones – are messages from your Soul? (Mess as Messenger?!)
This photo is from a moment this summer when I felt as bad as I have felt in a loooong time. The pain was acute – agonizing and debilitating. I felt as “weak” and unsure as I can ever remember feeling.
But I did not run away. I slowed down, breathed, and stayed.
I learned my grief was actually the gateway: the gateway to growth. By staying with the pain of what I had lost, I discovered that what I was losing was actually an old and limiting belief. It was a life altering revelation.
I may look like hell, but baby, let me tell you, surviving that moment – tolerating the experiences that the feelings evoked, and never leaving the experience of myself? THAT was an act of earth-shattering power.
THERE IS NO GREATER ACT OF POWER THAN TOLERATING THE EXPERIENCE OF ONESELF.
Today? I actually am feeling pretty spicy: happy, healthy, and anticipating good adventures.
And that is partly the point.
The pain did not last.
Feelings are not permanent. They are dynamic, and vital.
Beloved, your feelings are genius. They come and go like so much poetry, each one ready to show you something about yourself – and embracing all of them is a warrior’s work.
Real power has nothing to do with the world around you – how you act, or react.
Your power has to do with the world within.
Can you stand to go into your dark places? Can you stand not to know the answers, or be right? Can you stand to be messy, and uncomfortable?
STAND IN YOUR VULNERABILITY; STAND IN YOUR POWER.
I love you.